Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Workin' It Wednesday: How I Keep My Marriage Strong

It's time for Workin' It Wednesday again, where I link up with Erika and Shay to talk about different topics.  This month's topic is How You Keep Your Marriage Strong.  

Adam and I have been married for 13 years and we've been together for 17 years. That doesn't even seem possible because that would mean I'm getting old!  Our first date was actually a result of me being stood up by someone else.  That's a story for another time!


Prior to having children, we spent what seemed like every waking (and sleeping) moment together. 9 months into our marriage, we moved from Kansas City to Las Vegas for work, so we didn't know anyone and ended up spending a lot of time together. I think this was such a great thing for us because it forced us to rely on each other and make our own decisions without a lot of family influence. Don't get me wrong, we love our families, but I think it was really good for us to have that time to focus just on each other. It was fun having my bestie at my side. Enter 2 kiddos, work, other life activities, etc and sometimes I feel like we are two ships passing in the night.  To be honest, this point in our marriage is more of a maintenance stage. We don't have a lot of spare time to spend on one another. 

One thing we established early on in our parenting years, is giving each other the gift of sleep. As all parents of young kiddos know, sleep is something you dream of on the rare occasion when you actually do get to sleep. We used to sleep until 9:30-10:00 on the weekends, casually wake up, watch tv in bed for a while, finally roll out of bed, and slowly make it downstairs for some breakfast (or lunch at that point). But our firstborn was an early riser. I'm talking 5:30am early. That took some getting used to!  We were both desperately missing our sleep-in mornings, so we decided to give each other 1 morning each weekend to sleep until 9:00 if we chose too. 

It's been ah-mazing. We have been doing this for about 7 years and it just works for us. Sometimes I sleep all the way until the boys come and wake me up, but many times I can't actually sleep until 9. After getting up early for so long, my body no longer knows what to do that 1 day a week when it doesn't have to shoot out of bed. But, on those precious Saturday mornings I greatly enjoy laying in bed, scanning through emails or surfing the web on my phone, or sometimes I just lay there in peace-all.by.myself. 

What does this have to do with marriage?  Well, everything actually.  When I don't get enough sleep, I'm not very pleasant to be around.  And, the same goes for a little bit of me time.  I need time to recharge and not have someone pulling at my leg while I'm trying to brush my teeth.  It's nice to know that things are being taken care of while I lay there and do nothing.  It's something small that means so much.  


Another thing we do is watch TV together.  LAME, right?  Pre-kids we had several shows that we both enjoyed and together we would cook dinner, watch them, discuss them, and look forward to the next episode.  But now we don't have a lot of extra time for TV.  It was actually only this past year that we started watching it together again.  And, what are we watching you ask?  The Bachelor of course!  I have been a Bachelor fan from the beginning, but Adam just jumped on board a couple of seasons ago.  I have no idea why he started watching it with me, but I love that we have a show now! It's maybe not so much about the actual show, but the fact that we bond over it. Having something other then the children to talk about is nice, and being able to snuggle in bed or on the couch without interruptions is a gift these days!


Hopefully, in the near future, we can start to have more date nights and get out of the house for some adult time.  My youngest is extremely attached to me at the moment so it makes leaving him really hard.  But this too shall pass, and I'll soon miss his needy little voice pestering me to hold him.  Until then, we will continue sleeping in once a week and watching our trashy TV!  We really know how to light a spark, huh?  The important thing is that we still like being with each other.  I enjoy his company, I am proud of the father he has become, and I love him more now then the day we got married.  

What do you do to keep your marriage strong?

Tune in next month as we discuss Balancing Work and Home Life...which for me is all a giant blur!






 photo Niki Heart Auto signature-2_zpso77bkiti.png

4 comments:

  1. ha my husband and i watch tv together and we really enjoy the downtime and the shows that we watch :) it keeps it fun to talk about it too! Really enjoyed your post and hope you'll stop by mine as well!

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    1. Thank you for your comments! I loved your ideas for simple dates to keep things fun!

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  2. Great job, Niki! After 44 years, we have learned it is just being in the presence of each other's company that makes the difference. When the kids move away and you are alone again as a couple, it is nice to have some interests in common. We have found we never have enough time to do all the things we like to do. We both enjoy antiquing, traveling, looking at houses(real estate), eating out, watching TV & movies, and of course, being with our grand children! It is definitely the little kindnesses we do for one another that keep the love strong. I could not ask for a better soul mate. He has shown over and over again the love he has for me while I have struggled through sickness. It is these times the true test of love shows up and makes your love grow deeper and stronger!

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    1. Wow! 44 years is definitely something to be proud of! I agree that it's not the grand gestures, but rather the small ones that mean the most. Thank you for your comments and advice! You guys have set a great example for your kids and everyone else who can feel your true love for each other!

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